butterflies

One thing I know I will remember for the rest of my life...

I had left his house in the middle of the night with all my stuff and took a taxi to a motel, and he came by my room the next day. The previous night had not gone well, so we had agreed to just talk and end things on a mutual note. While we were sitting at the foot of the bed, he had fallen silent and sat staring at the wall after something one of us had said.. and out of nowhere he leaned over and kissed me super soft; one kiss that I will remember as long as I live. That moment gave me the most fluttery butterflies I have ever felt.

It's the only clear memory of tummy butterflies I have...

Ran across this lovely piece

on a lady's blog while I was looking for pictures of beautiful people with split tongues..!

She didn't write this, but this girl is super awesome and has a shit ton of cool stuff to say. She has her damn tongue split, dresses like the maniac I wish I was, and does currrrazy things with hair.
GO READ HER BLOG NOW.


Anywayz...
*ahem*



The Mayonnaise Jar

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.'

'The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.'

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.'

'If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.'

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children.
Take time to get medical check ups. Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'




What is in your jar..?





♥-t

piercings kay

Current:

14g double earlobes. First pair I got when I was 6 months old, only piercing I will have ever gotten done with a gun. Parents... don't pierce your infants. It should be their choice. Not to say I wish my mom hadn't done it, they turned out fine and I'm glad I have em, though I do wish I was old enough to remember the experience :p
Susie did the second ones at her boyfriend's house the day before I went to Florida this year, and they are my newest piercings. I had pierced them a month or two before, but I did it in a mirror and one of them was crooked and I felt gross having just one. The new ones are pretty much healed, but since we pierced through scar tissue they still get a little mad sometimes.

14g bellly. First conscious piercing ever. I was super nerrrvous. I believe I got this when I was... seventeen? Thank you Shelbaay :]

16g nipples! Pierced at 14g. 18th birthday... Laurence was there. First and only night I've ever had champagne.. champagne to ease the nipple pain. yup. They didn't really hurt as bad as I was expecting. Physical pain almost never does...

14g left scaffold. Christmas eve 2010. Got them with a good friend for presents. As of a month ago I can finally tell people "they don't hurt anymore."

Aaaand my septum. Originally pierced at 14g in September 2010. I have since pierced it with 16g needles three times... I think the jewelry that's in it now is an 18g ring. I can never remember. I've had this one for a few months and I would like to re-pierce it again. Hurts like a bitchhh. When it's finally where I want it to be I'll just say I've had it since 2010. whatevs.


Maybe I'll put up pics someday, when I'm not so lazy.


~~~~~~~

Piercings I want...

7 perfectly spaced, uniform helix piercings at 16g or 18g. Reppin' the gays.
Mine will both start and end lower than his.

Both tragus, probably. Maybe only on the left... I'll see how unbalanced I feel after I get the seven on my right ear. Dunno if my tragus' are even big enough :o





Both inner conch's... however you spell that. If placed in my personal area of preference with the right bead size for the newly pierced's ear, these are seeexy. For initial healing comfort I'll have these pierced with barbells, and when they are healed I'll try out rings of some sort and see which I like better.





I really like the medusa. I've been told it would look good on me and I really reallly like it, so I'll try it out eventually to see how silly I may or may not think it looks...




Double tongueee. :d
And I am almost a million percent sure I want to split my tongue EVENTUALLY, so I'll probably get my tongue pierced a third time (or first time before I get the doubles...?) up relatively high and then I can have two perfectly symmetrical pierced tongues. God damn, I wish I could clone myself. seczii as fk.






I also wanted to get the vertical labret for the looongest time, but I don't have the cocktastic lips that tend to make that piercing look awesome, so I began entertaining the idea of an inverse vertical labret... and then I discovered the horizontal lip piercing. That's what I really want, it's SUPER CUTE but I hear it can be rather uncomfortable to eat or smile or talk or do purty much anything besides not move. So I think I may want to do a double inverse vertical labret. Same effect, potentially less rejection. If they are placed right and I don't mess with them, they'll last as long as I want.






This just looks uncomfortable.




I kind of tend to get piercings after something life changing... like, I've never gotten a piercing that didn't/doesn't MEAN something beyond having a piece of metal stuck in me. All of the piercings I have (except the first lobes) have a meaning or important memory behind the piercing itself. I could do all of the other piercings I want right now, but I've decided to wait until something happens that makes getting them memorable... for example, I'm getting the 7 on my ear to have a slightly more permanent and subtle way of exuding my faggotry. The conch's I hope to get sometime within the next year or two, because I want to be with a particular human being when I get them...


♥-t

innnnkkkkkistryyy.

The first one I'm going to get is numbers. They're little and won't even take an hour to finish and I will love them so much! Everything you have ever been, trying to be encompassed and explained in a few little lines... it's lovely. I'm super glad I have you to share something like this with. Pretty sure we've been talking about these for... five years now, babygirl?
Can't fucking wait.

The second is going to be a disgusting biomechanical demon wasp creature and I'm not sure where I want to put that. Somewhere I can see it most of the time. That one might take a little while... but not more than five or so hours, I imagine.

I have an idea for a chronological third I want but it has not completely formed yet... leaning towards scarification on that one just because of the idea behind the piece. I just thought of it earlier today during/after crying about stupid Laurence for like 4 hours. I may put this on my other wrist, on the outer side, like a bracelet. Now that I've had a mere half-day to think about it, nothing less than methodically ripping my skin off will do for this piece. There's something glorious and innately solitary about a scar...

The third is too big and I already love it too much for just anyone to do it. Hopefully I'll be able to get that one done before the guy retires or something. He did Jon's tattoos and I think it would be absolutely amazing to have my biggest and most intricate tattoo done by the guy who did his... now that I think of it, I'm not even sure what Jon's tattoo is. I have seen it before but he was too busy being pretty so I've forgotten what it is. I think there is a dragon's head on his chest... and it curls around his back or something, I don't remember. I kinda want mine to do something like that, but just because a big organic monster thing can do that, doesn't mean a tree can too :/
But if it's possible, Jondalar's man in AZ can do it.
After all, a tree is organic as well...

So.. my first two (or three) are kinda little and I know I can get at least one of them here, but I'm going to Arizona for the back piece. Dunno where I'll get the scar done, if ever. It's terrifying, but if I can't grow enough of a vagina to go through with it I'll just never get it. Ink could never do that piece justice.


Someday I will put up pictures of all of my lovely artworks :)
Hoping to get my numbers within a week or two.

♥-t

Someone wrote this just for us

There she goes again, 
She goes with the wind, 
she is gone again, 
Without a note or hint,
Soon she will come again 
should i allow her in?
Or leave her outside the door
To find another door,
May be there she might stay
Or she might go in and out
And it won't affect my fragile heart.




♥-t

Look at my boots gurl

I have recently developed a disgusting boot fetish. Lately I have been motivated to actually look for a real job just for the sole purpose of buying shoes. I currently own six pairs of shoes... five of them are boots.

Pics of all my awesome shoes soon!

First "couldn't live without it" in my life. REI. 155$




First heels ever? Halloween Store or something. 60$



Supercute black Friday 2011 deal. JcPenney. 100$, paid 30$


First cool boots..! Way old, don't think they sell 'em anymore. Walmart. 20$



Badass. Demonia. 80$... Brand fuckin' new, 8$ at Goodwill :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SMALL list of shoes I want... I need to become rich immediately. I plan on it.

"Demonia Unisex Knee Boot with Metal Plated Straps: Reaper 30 Black £181.00"


"Demonia Women's Platform Buckle Boot: Concord 108 Dark Cherry £83.00"


These are kinda cool. Could do with a skinnier heel...
"Ladies Chunky Heel Fishnet Knee Boot: Electra 2021 Black Patent £62.00"


"Demonia Women's Lace-up Knee Boot with Buckle Detail: Gothika 200 £77.00"


ohgod. sexy as fuck.
"Ladies High Heel Platform Buckle Boot: Indulge 2033 Black Patent £79.00"


Can't decide between side lacing...
"Ladies Platform Thigh Boot with Ribbon Lacing: Indulge 3050 Black Patent £79.00"


... and back lacing. I think these are gonna win.
"Ladies Platform Thigh Boot with Back Lacing: Indulge 3063 Black Matt £83.00"


[I really like Demonia's style of boots, but the heels of a lot of their shoes are too... chunky for my liking. I guess that's why they call them chunky.]


Black, of course.
"Brinley Co. - Women's Faux Suede Slouchy Tall Boots"


'I would feel like SUCH a badass wearing these on a motorcycle' -Susie
"Sexy Shiny Black 6 inches Heel Platform Motorcycle Riding Boots"



I'll update this eventually.


♥-t

Some useful things I have learned

I'm a mod. Life is pretty hackable.

Don't be / let people get too clingy. It's easier to prevent a bad habit than break one.

Obnoxious clingy-ness aside, keep people you love as close to you as possible. They will probably leave you someday.

Nothing is 'meant to be' or 'not meant to be'. Shit just happens. It's called "physical chemistry," and it doesn't mean anything.

Black Friday deals are fucking fantastic. Even if you don't want any part of the emotionless commercialized wreck that this day has become, take a look around anyway. THEY have made it impossible to pass up. Y'know those shoes I got the other day? They usually sell them for 100$. I would never have looked at them twice because of the price alone (hundred bux just for shoes..? C'mon. I'm not that bad... yet), hence I would never have had a chance in hell to get what has become my new favorite pair of sexy ass boots.

I am never going to own another cat. I intend to never own any living creature that does not live in a cage (wink)... until I move to Finland.

Don't buy useless things. Don't impulse purchase, unless it's food AND it's either cheap, or you're at least mostly sure it's gonna be worth it.

Stupid people plan out beautiful crimes and get caught; smart people often don't plan at all and they get caught too.

If I ever stop drinking milk, I will probably become allergic to it :(

Don't keep secrets... don't pretend. Do not, under most circumstances, hide your SELF from anyone.

I will make an exemplary effort to only have children with someone gorgeous who's got delectable physical/personality traits, isn't too attached to me, and has a family health portrait that would impress a eugenicist. I don't much mind if he sticks around or not; most likely, if I found a guy like that I suspect I'd love his genetically superior baby-having abilities more than the man himself. Like the alien, in Alien.

Old people who smoke are super gross. Why don't I think non-senior citizens who smoke are gross too? I know I am going to be old someday.. why don't I think I'm gross?

I take everything for granted. I appreciate what I've got, but not as much as I feel like I should...

Marriage is stupid. Ceremonies and spirituality are cool, but aside from tax breaks, a couple shouldn't potentially ruin a good thing by legally binding themselves to each other. There are exceptions... but don't assume you and your other are the exception. It's better to marry the best friend, which is what Shelby and I are going to do as soon as we're both in the same place again. Fuck legality.

On that note, it's basically a bad idea to live with your other as well, at least until you're grown ups... and, silly darlings, don't think you are!

Try not to watch Inuyasha when attempting to recover from a love lost. Horrible idea...

Take a few hours out of the day to do whatever the fuck you want. But don't take it to an extreme, like I do. Better advice for me at this point would be "take a few hours out of the day to do something productive for a change."

Bad weather isn't that bad...?

Treat adult temper tantrums just like kid tempers. It's easier, and usually more fun to deal with.

Forgiveness is much harder to allow when a person does not really want to move on.

Be nice to pets.

If you are cute and lucky, crying will get you things and/or out of trouble :)


♥-t

Favourite!

Tar: My laundry soap smells like margarita mix.

Tar: My clothes smell like tequila! I think my grasp on reality is rather stable. Also, I just had a moment with you that you didn't even have to be here for :) ily.

Ale: Aww how? Tell meh! Ily!

Tar: I was gonna ask if you thought i was weird but then i remembered you know a part of my brain not many people get to have and i was like "oh yea... aww alex :3"

Ale: :) Youre not weird!

Tar: Oh gosh alex i physically need you in my life i have so much stuff in my head i want to SAY that just wouldnt make sense to anyone else lol

Ale: SAY IT ALL TO MEEE. I wanna hear :)

Tar: I wish I could show you everything, for me it's kind of a visual which has words that go with it, and i only want to tell you ahaha, i wish you could close eyes and i could telepath words and a picture to you because its so funny up in mah head right now



♥-t

Arex: Things for which I am grateful :)

(Including but not limited to:)

Piercing needles, cute shoes, new batteries, showers, lucky stars, Ouran merchandise, cows, tobacco, my mommy, tentacles, Nicolas Cage, vaginas, Finland, Chris the Cactus, Skype, durable jackets, water, Pokemon, portability of laptops, lint rollers, Renaissance faires, lip balm / chap sticks / aquaphor, video games, movies, sneezing, rain, good weather, bad weather, lube, telephone, "someday", bracelets, blogspot, hockey, Polish Pussy Vodka (thank you, Susie!), clicky lighters, regular lighters, girlfriends, seroquel, the Flesh Machine's brain, foamy soap, Bubba Ho-tep and future love mates, Sofi VonDoom as an apotheosis, people with beautiful faces, my mom's friend's son's friend bringing pie for thanksgiving, kitty cats, dreams, boys with long hair, beds and comfy couches, plastic, spacebag, electricity, hats, bok choy, laundry soap and washing machines;


I will write more sooner or later, I am grateful for so much more than this list can hold!



♥-t

Ooooh how am I gonna figure this one out?

Just a reminder:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apply game mechanics to real life.

WHAT KIND OF CHARACTER WILL I PLAY

WILL ALL THE NPC'S LOVE ME
Will the pc's love me..? 

Sneaky as fuck, hand to hand combat. Personality and speech woos all;

Die on the quick when encountering a mere rat.

Will I be mostly adept at everything, or master one skill and try to get ahead that way?

IRL is the best game I've ever played.

Anyone can do ANYTHING.

There is magic in this world, it does not come in the form of fire, frost, or flight,

but it is in the quest givers.

Favorite n/pc has a boyfriend, you say? You don't give a fuck, she's your favorite anyway.

That guy's a douche, and if this was REAL LIFE you'd screw her and everything would be cool.

It's beautiful.

want more?:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_(Nineteen_Eighty-Four)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Off_the_Air_(TV_series)



♥-t